Motherhood is new to me. Building ANY identity capital right now is near impossible.
Author Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist specializing in adult development, defines what she calls “identity capital.” She writes:
Identity capital is our collection of personal assets—a repertoire of individual resources that we assemble over time. Some identity capital goes on a résumé … and other identity capital is more personal, such as how we speak, where we are from, how we solve problems, how we look. Identity capital is how we build ourselves—bit by bit, over time.
To be clear identity capital has nothing to do with money. It grows when you do interesting/inspiring things and it decreases when you lay in bed all day watching television.
Author Meg Jay first captured my imagination during a Ted Talk performance, she coined the phase ‘The Defining Decade’ and outlined how actions in our 20’s define our future. Well I believe this same notion to be true with motherhood. The only difference is your nurturing a new being you’ve created with a loved one. Your actions will affect there future, no pressure then!
Motherhood is: immense, terrifying, overwhelming, incredibly rewarding and humbling. It’s usually morning at first feed when all these feelings descend on me, I honestly cant believe my luck. Robin is perfection to me as I am his mother, but that’s not the only thing that defines me, or is it?
Me time’ no longer exists and confidence well you have none. You haven’t time to think or contemplate, just act and do. I was contemplating my ‘bio’ on my personal Instagram account, I would usually state my profession, interests and possibly relationship status. Now I am on maternity leave my repertoire seems to have shrunk somewhat to simply ‘mother’.
Before becoming a mother I would have been offended if my only defining feature was mother. Now I realise what that actually means: 24/7 compassionate care.
You now have one sole responsibility, them. I do however realise that this ‘baby’ phase will not last forever and this is why I am keen to continue to develop my identity capital and build on my momfidence.
I once said you cannot live off love alone and I believe this to be true. I am now taking positive steps to build on my momfidence which include: joining bootcamp, writing my blog and cooking. I have always been creative, I am just yet to find something that allows me to use this part of my persona whilst being a mom. Clothing attire can only go so far to express this side of my personality, you will never see me in black (be worried if you do!).
Lastly, I salute all you full time mothers and mompreneurs, it took time, hard work, dedication and passion to add these to your repertoire!
*The book by Meg Jay, ‘The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them NOW’ or watch the TED talk by Meg Jay, “Why 30 is not the new 20“.